Saturday, October 22, 2011

Six Sentences: "Glancing Into the Abyss"


“I think you should leave,” she says, and she doesn’t know why, because a court sealed envelope run door-to-door by Sheriff Jackson hasn’t stopped Mike and she doubts her words will.

Mike grins—that feral cat grin that once made her feel wanted but now just makes her back and legs ache with the memory of bruises—and nearly breaks the hinge off the door as he pushes into the living room, pushes into her space, with his hand raised.

But she’s been practicing, three times a week in class and an hour every day on her own in the most claustrophobic spaces she can find, because Mike knows just how to use his bulk and the length of his limbs to make her feel like rolling over and playing dead.

Heart Monitor via Flickr - brykmantra
She throws up her left arm, catches his jarring blow and steps into him, putting the force of her body behind the knuckle she jabs into his throat.

His bugged eyes make her think of old Bugs Bunny cartoons and she can’t help but laugh a little at his strangled gag and the way his fingers scrabble at his throat as though they could uncrush his windpipe, because now she’s remembering the reedy blip of a heart monitor and the bitter-cold taste of metal in her mouth, keeping her jaw shut tight.

She’s going to get the cordless and do the right thing...call the police, but before she does, she leans down—close enough to see the shine of his fear blown pupils—and says, “It might have been a better idea for you to pick on someone your own size.”

8 comments:

otherwendy said...

I really like the phrase fear blown pupils.

--Wendy from writing group

katieross83 said...

Wow! The ultimate revenge and the ultimate ass-kicking. I love this, love the thought of her taking her fate into her own hands and learning how to defend herself. 

Loved this line: "that feral cat grin that once made her feel wanted but now just makes her back and legs ache with the memory of bruises" ...it made me pull for your heroine even more!

Thanks for linking up with us. 

Jackie said...

Wow! I'm wanting more...what happens next??

Annabelle said...

Powerful!  I thought the lead-in was really well-done -- that first sentence tells you everything you need to know.

may said...

The ending sentence has such victory and determination in it.  Excellent.

Chaotically Yours said...

Thank you.

Chaotically Yours said...

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed.  And thanks for providing the space to link up. :)

Chaotically Yours said...

 One of these days...maybe I'll know. :)

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