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I'm having one of those moments. The ones that come well after you've taken the initiative to do something, when all your plans are in place and things are moving toward their inevitable conclusion. The ones that make you sit back and consider what you're getting yourself into and what you're going to be giving up. The ones that make you ask yourself "Was this really wise?"
I think the answer to that last question is yes.
But I won't put a definite on that until the end of the year. (I should have a better idea at that point.)
By now you're probably wondering what I'm rambling about....
I start grad school on the 20th of this month. It's something I'd been considering ever since (well, even before) I lost my job at the end of 2012. I considered it further when I got the part time transcriber job that I'm doing now and then decided to go ahead and apply. Applications were submitted, electronically, at the beginning of May. I was accepted within the week.
Luckily for me, it's an online program. While I have to have my ass in the seat two nights a week, for about three hours, I don't have to navigate the traffic of vehicles and pedestrians down at the university.
Between school and between my transcribing, I'm hoping I'll still have time to write. Which is funny, considering I haven't been doing a ton of writing with the time I have had.
I don't know what it is, but sometimes I think my schedule has to be completely filled before I can bring myself to sit down and really work at a project. Maybe with a full schedule, I feel that I'm earning my keep in this world? That I'm not just frittering away time.
It's the creative conundrum. You wish for more time and when you're granted it, you can't figure out how to use it. I think there's something about lacking free time...you tend to be more efficient. (Even if you're pissing and moaning about your lack of time the whole way.)
That said, despite the dent in my free time, despite the homework I'll likely have, I'm looking forward to school. I'm looking forward to learning more about the field I started in. I'm looking forward to enhancing my skills in editing audio, video, images and learning more about the field I spent a number of years in.
Have you had those moments of "did you really think this through?" How'd they turn out?